Out Of The Pink ~ Nothing Can Separate Us

Nothing Can Separate Us ~ Day 66, October 26, 2016

When I got home last night after a long day and long evening, I immediately jumped in the shower. Cancer changes you in ways sometimes so insignificant no one would know but you. But, frustration is part of the deal. It’s kind of a mindset change or just a simple distraction. Or maybe it’s simply carrying around a little bit of anger. Maybe anger that cancer attacked me when it wasn’t even on the radar. The shower was always a reminder of what cancer had stolen. Maybe I was angry at that. Maybe I was angry for my friend who has been touched by this evil disease and will be undergoing surgery. I was angry I was missing this softball season too. 

I’m angry at the enemy for winning in some cases when others like me seem to be so lucky and blessed. There’s certainly no remorse but a touch of survivors guilt had swirled around in my brain. That was from the enemy too. He seemed to do that, take away many of the good things in exchange for bad. That is his nature, and I guess to be honest, I was even angry he was allowed to do it. At any rate I was angry at the enemy for all of the above, so I was already in a foul mood, not really becoming of a Christian who’s been given so much. 

 As I took my shower I dropped my heavy, metal razor, and as luck would have it, it caught me right on my big toe knuckle. It hurt like the dickens, and that made me even more angry because my cancer surgery had made it difficult to bend over and pick things up. Really? As if I wasn’t already frustrated enough.
I yelled at the enemy. I started rebuking him, reminding him he had been defeated. I called him every name in the book and reminded him as well one day every knee would bow and every tongue would confess that Jesus Christ was lord, even him. I told him what a foul liar and what a cruel snake he is. I shouted red faced, “can’t you just leave us alone and go back to the pit you came from?” If the neighbors could have heard me, they would swear I was possessed. I mean I really wasn’t that upset for dropping my razor, but I had been holding in a lot of frustration.

After I got it all out, I prayed. I felt so guilty about being out of control and feeling such hatred towards cancer and the enemy, even if they did deserve it. The Holy Spirit said to me, “Kathie, don’t you know when you lose control, spew bitterness and hatred, even if deserved, the enemy is still getting what he wants? Don’t you think you’re giving him a little too much credit?”

Regardless of whether or not the enemy of all that is good and righteous deserves to be rebuked, he still feeds on your anger. But when you fight the enemy with love, he has no weapon that can conquer it. When you are frustrated, angry, anxious, bitter, unforgiving or any other thing birthed out of the enemy, fight him with love. It throws him for a loop. 

 Only a minute or so had passed and I reached for my bar of soap, a heavy, brand-new bar. Well they are slippery little suckers. Anyway, once again I dropped it. Apparently my hands needed rebuking. Now I had an option to confront the enemy again, but this time I chose to call out the name of Jesus. I said to the enemy isn’t my God good? He is so loving and kind. He will never leave me nor forsake me. I started calling out the name of Jesus and said to the enemy, “You can’t empty me of love.” God is a good father, and God is love. All the anger and frustration left me. The heaviness lifted. 

I believe in that moment the enemy had no choice but to flee. Now I know this is a silly, simple example. But it has to work the same way in the most horrible situations. When bad things happen to us, cancer included, we can yell insults at the enemy, belittle and curse and rebuke him all we want. But I think he just likes keeping us engaged. He has absolutely no weapon in his arsenal to combat love. 

It was a simple message for me. Maybe God knew I needed simple last night. But, today I shared that message with others. I was reminded when in traffic, when things don’t go my way, when I hear bad news, or get frustrated, I’ll speak love. Instead of falling into a bitter place, I’ll fall into the loving arms of God, and be reminded as long as I’m full of love the enemy has to flee.
Now I look at cancer and the enemy and laugh and remind them, there is absolutely nothing you can do to separate me or anyone else from the love of God. You can’t make me like you. I won’t give you what you want. When I hear of a new diagnosis. When doubt and fear set it. When doctors appointments exhaust me, I’ll pray Gods love envelope my soul and fill me to overflowing. 

I will remind the enemy that nothing, not height nor death nor any other thing can separate me from the love of God. With no weapon strong enough he will turn and run. He knows it’s a battle he can’t win. I have more pink journey left to travel, so learning the lesson of the love response was timely and necessary. Whatever trials I have left to face, my greatest weapon is the love of God.